Telling someone you love that they have gained weight can be
tough; perhaps you may even avoid it altogether and hope that the problem will
go away. However if the weight gain is
affecting your relationship sexually or emotionally maybe it’s worth a go talking
about it! Just remember to thread carefully whether your partner is a man;
woman or beast, telling them they have gained weight isn’t going to go down
well at first.
Is it
necessary?
This is something you have to ask yourself before delving
into this issue. Just how much weight has your partner gained? Is it enough to
cause concern or are they just looking a bit frumpy in their tight jeans? You don’t want to give them an issue with their
weight if there is no need. Many of us struggle a little with our weight,
especially during times of great stress or perhaps when we become comfortable
in a new relationship. If your partners
weight gain is very minable and not causing them to be unhealthy the best
practice is to leave it alone. Review it again if it starts to become a
problem!
Accept that
their feelings will be hurt
If you are going to have a serious conversation with your
partner about weight gain then accept that they will be hurt. The most you can
hope for is minimising the hurt. Hearing you are overweight, even if deep down
you know it yourself is never going to be pleasant, especially when this
confirmation comes from a loved one and someone you associate with fancying
you.
Be Tactful
Like I said previously no matter what way you say it your
partner is going to feel hurt. But be tactful! Stress your concerns about the
unhealthy habits they have picked up rather than insulting them. Showing
concern will get them to open up and have a conversation with you. On the other
hand come out bluntly with offensive comments and insults and you will only
shut them down AND the conversation. If this happens the only thing that will
be achieved is an argument.
Do not use
the word FAT!
Being overweight means that you carry excessive or extra
weight, fat is a horrible way of describing this to someone. Especially if this
is someone you love and you don’t want them to feel hurt. We have a use amount of words that we can use
other than fat to get across our concerns to a partner. And if they ask are you calling
them fat? Do not under any circumstances say yes! Use words like
unhealthy, plump or round instead. These may not be associated with compliments
but they are better than calling them fat or chubby. You may also avoid the need to call an
ambulance for yourself if you leave out the word fat! In fact it’s best if going
into this you try to lose the word fat from your vocabulary altogether, best
for them and for your own safety!
Remind them
that they are beautiful/handsome!
This one is really important! Make sure that once you tell your partner
about their weight gain that you reassure them that they are still beautiful or
handsome. They will feel like you don’t fancy them or perhaps that you don’t see
then the way you once did. Encourage them when they make steps to get healthier
and lose weight. Join them! Don’t forget the keep reminding them that you love
them and highlight all the things you still find attractive!
Be prepared
for the tables to turn!
Something to keep in mind before you bring this up with a
partner. Take a long hard look in the mirror. It is really common for weight
gain in relationships, however that includes both partners! You may have gained
a bit of a muffin top yourself or that beer belly may have gotten a little
rounder without you noticing! If you are bring up weight gain to someone and
you are looking a little podgy yourself the likelihood of them throwing it
right back at you is immense. Instead here tell your partner honestly that you
feel you both have put on some weight or become unhealthy and you are going to
do something about it and you would like them to join you.
For more tips and advice you can listen to us at http://theultimateguidetochicks.podomatic.com where we have a podcast 'The Ultimate Guide to Chicks' some advice and giggles all in the one place!
