Getting Sappy How and Why You Should Do It!

 

 

Being sappy means being overly sweet or sentimental not professing your love to someone or promising them the sun the moon and the stars. It is regularly regarded as sickly sweet and most men try to steer away from it. However something they often don't realise  is how well a bit of sappiness would be received in their dating lives! Aka SERIOUS brownie points!

Women love to feel special, it’s one of the sure fire ways to get our attention. Make us feel needed, wanted and then somehow different from the rest and if there’s any chemistry at all you’ll have us under your spell.

 

 

Still there is one thing to remember when converting to sappiness…. No women wants full on sap altogether. Whether you’re a guy or a girl hide the emotional wreck at least until you’re a bit further on in the relationship.

 

So here are some of my tips for getting nice and sappy ….

1.       One of the first things to remember is sappiness can be overdone and scare someone off altogether. You have to gage what level you’re at this point of your relationship. Are you just trying to chat this person up or have you been married to them for the last ten years? This obviously requires two completely different levels of mushiness!

 Too much soppiness can be scary....especially early on in the relationship...

 

 

Just the right amount can work out perfectly......

 

 

 

 

2.       Women can be soppy too, and not just with each other. Any women who expects her other half to be Romeo while she just lavishes in all the romance isn’t being fair. Men enjoy being told how attractive or wonderful they are as much as any women. Although they tend to be more concerned on what you think of their manhood they also appreciate some romantic or sappy gestures. If they tend to roll their eyes at any kind of overly emotional spiel why not make them their favourite meal and just say it through you actions, they can be extremely powerful all on their own.

 

 

 

3.       Same can be said to any man of few words. Not everyone has an inner poet bursting to get out! For men who break out in a sweat at the thought of trying to find the right words to tell her how you feel why not do it through romantic gestures. Buy her favourite flowers every once in a while or surprise her with breakfast in bed. If you have kids why not run her a nice warm bath and watch a DVD with the kids so she can just relax and pamper herself. And if you are only starting to date why not take her out on a special date.. Get her coffee at her favourite coffee place or bring her a small present that shows that you’ve been paying attention during all those phone calls or text messages. A small gesture to show that you’re listening can mean more to a women that a poem about how her eyes are like the ocean…or whatever.....

 

 

 

 

 

4.       One piece of advice I can give to anyone when it comes to matters of the opposite sex…ask a member of the opposite sex! It’s amazing how often this is looked over.

I mean who knows what women like better than a women. And yes all women are different, we like different things but we talk and we tell our girlfriends what is. I know what my girlfriends would love for Christmas, what her ultimate date is and what her favourite sex position is. So surely you have one friend of the opposite sex so get over there!  When it comes to being sappy girls generally are better so they will be able to help you construct the perfect message to send and if they are a mutual friend of you and your partner (or prospective partner) all the better!

 

 

1.       Getting soppy is actually really easy. Whether you want to sleep with this person or propose there is obviously something pretty cool or even amazing you see in them. So what is that has she got amazing eyes, or kissable lips?  Try go for facial features before bodily ones like an amazing arse. That way you will seem more genuine. Also remember as much as we love to be admired and told how visually pleasing we are we also like to be regarded for our brains, talents and abilities. Think of something she’s good at. Is she smart, brilliant with kids, an awesome athlete..? AND here is the key to being soppy it’s actually all about you…and how you feel about her! Though try to steer clear of the word horny as once again you don’t want to seem like you’re just after her for one thing! Does she make you nervous? Or make you feel happy? Being sappy doesn’t always require flowery language.

Composing a soppy text or letter:

·         Think beauty…. ‘You are so gorgeous do you know that?’

·         Keep specifics to the face ‘your eyes are so beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about your perfect lips’

·         Think brains…. ‘You’re so smart, I love that I can discuss things with you….’

·         Think talents, abilities and passions ‘God you’re so passionate about running, I love (really like) that about you… ‘talented and ambitious the list goes on and on’

·         Think you… ‘Being around you makes me so nervous (or I’m really nervous to meet you/for our date) …. ‘I miss you when you’re not here’ …… ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you’ ‘I so want to cuddle you and kiss you’

All of these can work well on their own but when put together……

Eg:

You are so gorgeous you know that? You have such amazing blue eyes, I could look into them all day. On top of being a stunner you’re so smart, I love that I can learn things from you. I really admire your passion too you make running sound so fun! I love being around you, you make me so happy and I miss you so much when you’re not here. I want to give you a cuddle and a kiss so much.

A text like this to a girl who finds you remotely attractive (and who is single!) generally lands great results..another words…..

 

 

 

 

 

Telling your partner they have gained weight: Where to begin?

Telling someone you love that they have gained weight can be tough; perhaps you may even avoid it altogether and hope that the problem will go away.  However if the weight gain is affecting your relationship sexually or emotionally maybe it’s worth a go talking about it! Just remember to thread carefully whether your partner is a man; woman or beast, telling them they have gained weight isn’t going to go down well at first.

 

 

 

Is it necessary?

This is something you have to ask yourself before delving into this issue. Just how much weight has your partner gained? Is it enough to cause concern or are they just looking a bit frumpy in their tight jeans?  You don’t want to give them an issue with their weight if there is no need. Many of us struggle a little with our weight, especially during times of great stress or perhaps when we become comfortable in a new relationship.  If your partners weight gain is very minable and not causing them to be unhealthy the best practice is to leave it alone. Review it again if it starts to become a problem!  

 

Accept that their feelings will be hurt

If you are going to have a serious conversation with your partner about weight gain then accept that they will be hurt. The most you can hope for is minimising the hurt. Hearing you are overweight, even if deep down you know it yourself is never going to be pleasant, especially when this confirmation comes from a loved one and someone you associate with fancying you.

 

 

Be Tactful

Like I said previously no matter what way you say it your partner is going to feel hurt. But be tactful! Stress your concerns about the unhealthy habits they have picked up rather than insulting them. Showing concern will get them to open up and have a conversation with you. On the other hand come out bluntly with offensive comments and insults and you will only shut them down AND the conversation. If this happens the only thing that will be achieved is an argument. 

 

 

 

Do not use the word FAT!

Being overweight means that you carry excessive or extra weight, fat is a horrible way of describing this to someone. Especially if this is someone you love and you don’t want them to feel hurt.  We have a use amount of words that we can use other than fat to get across our concerns to a partner. And if they ask are you calling them fat? Do not under any circumstances say yes! Use words like unhealthy, plump or round instead. These may not be associated with compliments but they are better than calling them fat or chubby.  You may also avoid the need to call an ambulance for yourself if you leave out the word fat! In fact it’s best if going into this you try to lose the word fat from your vocabulary altogether, best for them and for your own safety!

 

 

 

Remind them that they are beautiful/handsome!

This one is really important!  Make sure that once you tell your partner about their weight gain that you reassure them that they are still beautiful or handsome. They will feel like you don’t fancy them or perhaps that you don’t see then the way you once did. Encourage them when they make steps to get healthier and lose weight. Join them! Don’t forget the keep reminding them that you love them and highlight all the things you still find attractive!

 

Be prepared for the tables to turn!

Something to keep in mind before you bring this up with a partner. Take a long hard look in the mirror. It is really common for weight gain in relationships, however that includes both partners! You may have gained a bit of a muffin top yourself or that beer belly may have gotten a little rounder without you noticing! If you are bring up weight gain to someone and you are looking a little podgy yourself the likelihood of them throwing it right back at you is immense. Instead here tell your partner honestly that you feel you both have put on some weight or become unhealthy and you are going to do something about it and you would like them to join you.

 

 

 

For more tips and advice you can listen to us at http://theultimateguidetochicks.podomatic.com where we have a podcast 'The Ultimate Guide to Chicks' some advice and giggles all in the one place!